Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Dang you, dial-up.

I was all prepared to upload some glorious photos, but alas, dial-up is slower than molasses in January....
they'll come, eventually.

Being home has been a challenge, but truthfully, I'm up for it. Thank you a thousand times over to all of you who supported me these past 3 months, whether financially, prayerfully, or sending me cheery little bits of sunshine in the mail. You've truly been an expression of God's love to me.

In other news, the job search continues, very unsuccessfully so far. The past few days, in my constant free time, I've been reading The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge. I saw this book sitting on my mother's bookshelf a few months ago, and I slightly scoffed at the title, honestly. Perhaps I am just cynical about "romance" or whatnot; perhaps I am tired of the same old Christian books putting me to sleep....either way, I didn't give a second thought until just a few days ago, when leaving the house (stupid spring blizzards) was out of the question.

Anyway, read it if you haven't. It melted my cynical little heart faster than I would've thought.
Here's a little snippet:
"All of us have had poignant ecstasies of heart over a love affair that subsequently turned into immobilizing pain and shock as we realized that our lover could actually know us and yet leave us for another. But have you ever dated someone and you just knew, from the first time you met her, that she was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? As you laughed and talked and marveled together, you felt your love deepen to a heart bond that you never wanted to free yourself from. And have you ever been shocked to find one day that the one you loved so deeply and who you thought loved you just as passionately, had been dating other guys, and moreover, was spending more and more of her time with your worst enemy? Have you ever had to literally turn a lover over to a mortal enemy to allow her to find out for herself what his intentions toward her really were? Have you ever had to lie in bed knowing she was believing lies and was having sex with him every night? Have you ever sat helplessly by in a parking lot, while your enemy and his friends took turns raping your lover even as you sat nearby, unable to win her heart enough so that she would trust you to rescue her? Have you ever called this one you loved for so long, even the day after her rape, and asked her if she was ready to come back to you, only to have her say her heart was still captured by your enemy? Have you ever watched your lover's beauty slowly diminish and fade in a haze of alcohol, drugs, occult practices, and infant sacrifice until she is no longer recognizable in body or soul? Have you ever loved one so much that you even send your only son to talk with her about your love for her, knowing that he will be killed by her? (And in spite of knowing all of this, he was willing to do it because he loved her too, and believed you were meant for each other.) All this and more God has endured because of his refusal to stop loving us."

I've been missing the point for so long. I think a whole bunch of us have.