These two songs struck me this week, the first a few days ago, and the second just this morning as I finished making breakfast. Interpret them as you will, but for my heart, they scream the grace of God at me.
"Good God, if your song leaves our lips,
If your work leaves our hands,
Then we will be wonderers and vagabonds.
They will stare and see how empty we are.
How the freedom we had turned us up as dead men.
Let us be cold, make us weak
Let us, because we all have ears
Let us, because we all have eyes, good God
How they knew that this would happen,
We're so run down.
Good God! Can you still get us home...
How can we still get home?
I'm not dreaming.
We're forgetting our forgiveness." Underoath
.....
"All the time you were burning my letters, you were only acting the part.
You think without me, you'll get on much better, but you don't even know your own heart.
Come home, darling, come home quickly.
Come home, darling, all is forgiven, so come home quickly.
I treated you as if you were a princess; you treated me like a cop.
I gave you boundaries to save you from certain death, dangling from the end of your rope.
Come home, darling, come home quickly.
Come home, darling, all is forgiven, so come home quickly.
But you're still playing for a love you'll never find, outside of these arms of mine.
The whole town is one step behind you, with the hangman on call.
They've got the judge and you're convicted without a plea.
Darling,
They will listen to me." Pedro the Lion
.....
God has been melting my face off with his forgiveness today. I hope this reminds you, even a glimpse, of his grace.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Angels.
Wow. So, so much has happened since my last update. You would think doing a school up in the Rocky Mountains, 45 minutes away from civilization, would allow for copious amounts of free time.....
nope.
Not so much.
Our first week's teaching was about responding to God, taught by a lovely lady named Donna McGowen, and this last week was about prophetic evangelism by Greg DeVries. Both weeks were incredibly paradigm-shifting, to say the least. God has been tearing down some walls around my heart that I didn't even know were there, which is painful, but necessary. He's been showing me that I've spent so much time pouring into others that I've forgotten about my own gaping wounds. I've always been the strong one, the encourager, regardless of what context that has been, and the whole time He's been screaming at my spirit that I can't be strong in this season if I want my heart to change. It's definately a time of brokenness and vulnerability, which I hate, but am embracing at the same time.
In addition to class time Monday through Friday, we have book reports every few weeks, worship three times a week, a quarter-long project on the Native American people which will culminate in a 24/7 prayer room for the YWAM Denver base, work duties (mine: making breakfast for the base....5:30 am is glorious), and weekly outreaches to the Denver community....
and the list goes on.
I am also an intercession leader with a group of the DTS students (the primary school YWAM offers), in which we are praying for Cambodia these next 3 months, which is totally amazing to be able to stand in the gap for these countries that are needing radical change.
It's all incredibly exciting, but as I said, busy. Through all of it, God has been reminding me that yes, he is calling me to be a leader at some point (whatever that will look like) but with that comes more responsiblity! So I'm embracing the craziness with open arms and an open mind.
Add that to my attempt to learn Norwegian in my free time, and I've promised about 10 crocheted hats, mittens, or scarves to fellow students....
Our school will also be traveling to New Orleans, Louisiana mid February for Mardis Gras street ministry. I was a bit apprehensive at first, because typical "evangelism" has always rubbed me the wrong way....you know, those who you see holding up signs that proclaim "You need Jesus or you will burn in hell", etc. But I know that isn't what God has for us....He has people with hurting hearts he wants us to reach out to, in whatever way he leads us . But I can guarentee it won't be with a megaphone and tracts. :D
Something I am incredibly excited about: Albania! We will be doing an outreach there for 5 weeks in April-May, with the focus being on anti-human trafficking efforts there. For those who don't know specifics on the global problem of human trafficking, I strongly encourage you to go to http://www.love146.org/ . God has been ripping my heart to shreds about the issue, and I know I can't sit idly by when I have the opportunity to go to a country and influence people first-hand. We will be training in Albanian towns on human trafficking, volunteering at victim safehouses, speaking and bringing encouragement to Albanian churches, training of law enforcement on human trafficking, as well as practical projects around the cities we visit. The cost is $2,700 for the 5 weeks . I know I am supposed to go, and that God will totally provide. So many of you gave for my tuition for the school, but I'm asking you pray about possibly giving towards this as well. Full payment is due March 2nd. By helping me out on this, you are directly feeding into a ministry that will influence women and children who have literally been sold as property.
If you feel led to give, please send to:
Bethany Roth
c/o YWAM, WISE 2009
12750 W. 63rd Ave.
Arvada, CO 80004
(please make checks out to Youth With a Mission)
Now, on to how amazing God is and how he intervened in my life last night. The highway up to the mountain base is a very curvy 45 minutes of driving. After an amazing meal of Indian food in Arvada, everyone else but 4 of us stayed in the city for the weekend, and we came back up the mountain in our 15-passenger van...I wouldn't recommend that to anyone when the road is icy and you have no weight in your backseat...
Long long story short, we came about a foot or two from sliding off the road down a deep drop-off. I don't think I've prayed so hard in a situation like that before. Coming from South Dakota, as so many of you know, weather is fickle there and anything can happen, so I've been in situations similar, but in cars, not 15-passenger vans. There was no doubt that there were angels holding our van and all the other cars there until a rather swell fellow came and towed us with his truck. Besides not being able to feel my toes and fingers, everyone was fine, but there was no way that we should've stayed on the road. Thank you, Abba.
The really funny part of the whole situation was about 1 minute before, no joke, we were praying that God would break us, that he would increase our trust and melt our hearts. Well, be careful what you pray for, because my trust is certainly through the roof today! God truly has a sense of humor sometimes....but in all seriousness, God was looking out for us, and I am grateful beyond measure.
I will try to update this at least weekly so you can all stay updated on a consistent basis.
Please be praying for me and the other students in our school, that we would be open and vulnerable to what God wants to do during this time. I also need the money for outreach; pray that people would respond if God lays it on their hearts to give.
Thank you for who you are, and how all of you have impacted my life. Until next time I see you, know you are all in my prayers and that I love you!
nope.
Not so much.
Our first week's teaching was about responding to God, taught by a lovely lady named Donna McGowen, and this last week was about prophetic evangelism by Greg DeVries. Both weeks were incredibly paradigm-shifting, to say the least. God has been tearing down some walls around my heart that I didn't even know were there, which is painful, but necessary. He's been showing me that I've spent so much time pouring into others that I've forgotten about my own gaping wounds. I've always been the strong one, the encourager, regardless of what context that has been, and the whole time He's been screaming at my spirit that I can't be strong in this season if I want my heart to change. It's definately a time of brokenness and vulnerability, which I hate, but am embracing at the same time.
In addition to class time Monday through Friday, we have book reports every few weeks, worship three times a week, a quarter-long project on the Native American people which will culminate in a 24/7 prayer room for the YWAM Denver base, work duties (mine: making breakfast for the base....5:30 am is glorious), and weekly outreaches to the Denver community....
and the list goes on.
I am also an intercession leader with a group of the DTS students (the primary school YWAM offers), in which we are praying for Cambodia these next 3 months, which is totally amazing to be able to stand in the gap for these countries that are needing radical change.
It's all incredibly exciting, but as I said, busy. Through all of it, God has been reminding me that yes, he is calling me to be a leader at some point (whatever that will look like) but with that comes more responsiblity! So I'm embracing the craziness with open arms and an open mind.
Add that to my attempt to learn Norwegian in my free time, and I've promised about 10 crocheted hats, mittens, or scarves to fellow students....
Our school will also be traveling to New Orleans, Louisiana mid February for Mardis Gras street ministry. I was a bit apprehensive at first, because typical "evangelism" has always rubbed me the wrong way....you know, those who you see holding up signs that proclaim "You need Jesus or you will burn in hell", etc. But I know that isn't what God has for us....He has people with hurting hearts he wants us to reach out to, in whatever way he leads us . But I can guarentee it won't be with a megaphone and tracts. :D
Something I am incredibly excited about: Albania! We will be doing an outreach there for 5 weeks in April-May, with the focus being on anti-human trafficking efforts there. For those who don't know specifics on the global problem of human trafficking, I strongly encourage you to go to http://www.love146.org/ . God has been ripping my heart to shreds about the issue, and I know I can't sit idly by when I have the opportunity to go to a country and influence people first-hand. We will be training in Albanian towns on human trafficking, volunteering at victim safehouses, speaking and bringing encouragement to Albanian churches, training of law enforcement on human trafficking, as well as practical projects around the cities we visit. The cost is $2,700 for the 5 weeks . I know I am supposed to go, and that God will totally provide. So many of you gave for my tuition for the school, but I'm asking you pray about possibly giving towards this as well. Full payment is due March 2nd. By helping me out on this, you are directly feeding into a ministry that will influence women and children who have literally been sold as property.
If you feel led to give, please send to:
Bethany Roth
c/o YWAM, WISE 2009
12750 W. 63rd Ave.
Arvada, CO 80004
(please make checks out to Youth With a Mission)
Now, on to how amazing God is and how he intervened in my life last night. The highway up to the mountain base is a very curvy 45 minutes of driving. After an amazing meal of Indian food in Arvada, everyone else but 4 of us stayed in the city for the weekend, and we came back up the mountain in our 15-passenger van...I wouldn't recommend that to anyone when the road is icy and you have no weight in your backseat...
Long long story short, we came about a foot or two from sliding off the road down a deep drop-off. I don't think I've prayed so hard in a situation like that before. Coming from South Dakota, as so many of you know, weather is fickle there and anything can happen, so I've been in situations similar, but in cars, not 15-passenger vans. There was no doubt that there were angels holding our van and all the other cars there until a rather swell fellow came and towed us with his truck. Besides not being able to feel my toes and fingers, everyone was fine, but there was no way that we should've stayed on the road. Thank you, Abba.
The really funny part of the whole situation was about 1 minute before, no joke, we were praying that God would break us, that he would increase our trust and melt our hearts. Well, be careful what you pray for, because my trust is certainly through the roof today! God truly has a sense of humor sometimes....but in all seriousness, God was looking out for us, and I am grateful beyond measure.
I will try to update this at least weekly so you can all stay updated on a consistent basis.
Please be praying for me and the other students in our school, that we would be open and vulnerable to what God wants to do during this time. I also need the money for outreach; pray that people would respond if God lays it on their hearts to give.
Thank you for who you are, and how all of you have impacted my life. Until next time I see you, know you are all in my prayers and that I love you!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Colorado
It's Monday and I've been here in the Rocky Mountains for a week, and I must say it's rather fantastic. The majority of the 3 months will be spent up in the mountains: no cell phone, no city, lots of snow and trees. Marvelous. I don't have heaps of time at the moment but I wanted to give everyone a quick update, just so you know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. :D
There are about 100 of us here at the Eagle Rock base, and Monday is supposed to be our laundry/down in the city day, but it's been snowing all night and doesn't look like it's letting up anytime soon, so it's all up in the air.
God is so faithful, by the way. I just found out that I have more than enough money for the tuition for my schooling, not that I'm surprised but it still puts a smile on my face. All praise to him!
He's also been showing me that this season is going to be a time of rebuilding. I'm so sick of so many attitudes, prejudices, and even just some belief systems I find myself reverting back to and I know that this is going to strip me of all of that. I'm excited to see what tomorrow holds, and everday. I'll write more later when I get the chance. Until then, I pray God will melt your face off with his blessings today. :D
Love you all.
There are about 100 of us here at the Eagle Rock base, and Monday is supposed to be our laundry/down in the city day, but it's been snowing all night and doesn't look like it's letting up anytime soon, so it's all up in the air.
God is so faithful, by the way. I just found out that I have more than enough money for the tuition for my schooling, not that I'm surprised but it still puts a smile on my face. All praise to him!
He's also been showing me that this season is going to be a time of rebuilding. I'm so sick of so many attitudes, prejudices, and even just some belief systems I find myself reverting back to and I know that this is going to strip me of all of that. I'm excited to see what tomorrow holds, and everday. I'll write more later when I get the chance. Until then, I pray God will melt your face off with his blessings today. :D
Love you all.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Delight
"Regarding Zion, I can't keep my mouth shut; regarding Jerusalem, I can't hold my tongue; until her righteousness blazes down like the sun and her salvation flames up like a torch. Foreign countries will see your righteousness, and world leaders your glory. You'll get a brand-new name straight from the mouth of God. You'll be a stunning crown in the palm of God's hand, a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God. No more will anyone call you Rejected, and your country will no more be called Ruined. You'll be called Hephzibah (My Delight), and your land Beluah (Married), because God delights in you and your land will be like a wedding celebration. For as a young man marries his virgin bride, so your builder marries you; and as a bridegroom is happy with his bride, so your God is happy with you." Isaiah 62:1-5 MSG
I think all of us forget all too quickly that not only does God love us, he also delights in us. When I look at this past year I find myself wanting to focus on all the mess-ups, the wrong choices, the words I've regretted saying to others, but in all reality, God still is overjoyed with me. He's overjoyed with US! The past few months He has been emphasizing to me how delighted he is with me. It's a hard thing to swallow when you feel like you disappoint so many others in your life, but an incredible thing when you begin to see it, even just a glimpse.
I'm starting this next year, and this next season in my life, with that in mind. To say I am ready for change is the understatement of the year. I'm not one that can easily live with routines, with 9-5 jobs, with sameness. It chokes me, in a sense. But that's not to say that God hasn't used these past 2 years back home for his good. So much good has come from being here; I just fail to recognize it at times.
I leave on Sunday, January 4th for Colorado to do more training with YWAM Denver. The school will be held up in the Rocky Mountains for the entire 3 months, and I'm hoping to go overseas again on outreach, but that depends on God. I have almost enough money for the tuition (yay!) but no extra, which I'm honestly stoked about. I'm selling my car and getting rid of so much extra crap I don't need, and I'm thrusting myself off this cliff of comfortable predictability and into God's plans for me. I'm tired of trying to make sure all my bases are covered, that all my planning will work out. It's that feeling knowing that change is coming, not just with my actions and surroundings, but within me. It's like shedding a layer of skin. I need it, and a softer heart.
Some things God has laid on my heart to do/goals for this next year:
Grow deeper than ever before in my relationship with God
Learn to love people without an agenda of my own & without condition
Do more photography
Learn the Norwegian language
Leave the country at least twice...hopefully more
Cook some dang good food for people more deserving than I
I hope all of you had the most amazing Christmas season. Thank you for all you have poured into my life, and for helping me to make this next step. Be blessed!
-Bethany
I think all of us forget all too quickly that not only does God love us, he also delights in us. When I look at this past year I find myself wanting to focus on all the mess-ups, the wrong choices, the words I've regretted saying to others, but in all reality, God still is overjoyed with me. He's overjoyed with US! The past few months He has been emphasizing to me how delighted he is with me. It's a hard thing to swallow when you feel like you disappoint so many others in your life, but an incredible thing when you begin to see it, even just a glimpse.
I'm starting this next year, and this next season in my life, with that in mind. To say I am ready for change is the understatement of the year. I'm not one that can easily live with routines, with 9-5 jobs, with sameness. It chokes me, in a sense. But that's not to say that God hasn't used these past 2 years back home for his good. So much good has come from being here; I just fail to recognize it at times.
I leave on Sunday, January 4th for Colorado to do more training with YWAM Denver. The school will be held up in the Rocky Mountains for the entire 3 months, and I'm hoping to go overseas again on outreach, but that depends on God. I have almost enough money for the tuition (yay!) but no extra, which I'm honestly stoked about. I'm selling my car and getting rid of so much extra crap I don't need, and I'm thrusting myself off this cliff of comfortable predictability and into God's plans for me. I'm tired of trying to make sure all my bases are covered, that all my planning will work out. It's that feeling knowing that change is coming, not just with my actions and surroundings, but within me. It's like shedding a layer of skin. I need it, and a softer heart.
Some things God has laid on my heart to do/goals for this next year:
Grow deeper than ever before in my relationship with God
Learn to love people without an agenda of my own & without condition
Do more photography
Learn the Norwegian language
Leave the country at least twice...hopefully more
Cook some dang good food for people more deserving than I
I hope all of you had the most amazing Christmas season. Thank you for all you have poured into my life, and for helping me to make this next step. Be blessed!
-Bethany
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Fundraising
Alright, so tuition for my secondary school at YWAM Denver is $3,400.
Currently, I have a little less than half.
I leave in 2 1/2 weeks.
During other times in my life, I think I would've looked at that and been absolutely intimitated and just given up. Thankfully, God has done some things with my faith level this past year and I know without any doubt that He's totally going to provide more abundantly than I can imagine.
I've been reading a lot in both 1 & 2 Corinthians lately, and this jumps out to me everytime:
"...What God has planned for people who love him is more than eyes have seen or ears have heard. I has never even entered our minds!" (CEV)
That makes me smile. God is so faithful, even when we're not, and not only does he love us, but his plans are incredibly more than we could ever dream for ourselves. I'm pretty stoked for those plans, and even more excited to see how he is going to surprise me.
As far as this next step, Doug and Stacey Wollman have donated some of Doug's cds to be sold to help for my YWAM fund. (They are incredible people. If you don't know them, it's time to change that). Anyway, they are both instrumental worship cds that I'm selling for $15 (suggested donation) and all the proceeds go to help me. Let me know if you're interested in buying any; they make good last-minute Christmas gifts for anyone on your list or for yourself!
For those who haven't received a support letter and want to help out or drop me a line, my address until Jan. 3rd is Bethany Roth, 23191 Custer Trails Rd, Rapid City, SD 57702. After that, please send any support to Bethany Roth, c/o YWAM Denver, WISE 2009, 12750 W. 63rd Ave, Arvada, CO 80004.
Thank you so much, everyone. You guys are amazing.
Currently, I have a little less than half.
I leave in 2 1/2 weeks.
During other times in my life, I think I would've looked at that and been absolutely intimitated and just given up. Thankfully, God has done some things with my faith level this past year and I know without any doubt that He's totally going to provide more abundantly than I can imagine.
I've been reading a lot in both 1 & 2 Corinthians lately, and this jumps out to me everytime:
"...What God has planned for people who love him is more than eyes have seen or ears have heard. I has never even entered our minds!" (CEV)
That makes me smile. God is so faithful, even when we're not, and not only does he love us, but his plans are incredibly more than we could ever dream for ourselves. I'm pretty stoked for those plans, and even more excited to see how he is going to surprise me.
As far as this next step, Doug and Stacey Wollman have donated some of Doug's cds to be sold to help for my YWAM fund. (They are incredible people. If you don't know them, it's time to change that). Anyway, they are both instrumental worship cds that I'm selling for $15 (suggested donation) and all the proceeds go to help me. Let me know if you're interested in buying any; they make good last-minute Christmas gifts for anyone on your list or for yourself!
For those who haven't received a support letter and want to help out or drop me a line, my address until Jan. 3rd is Bethany Roth, 23191 Custer Trails Rd, Rapid City, SD 57702. After that, please send any support to Bethany Roth, c/o YWAM Denver, WISE 2009, 12750 W. 63rd Ave, Arvada, CO 80004.
Thank you so much, everyone. You guys are amazing.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
3 weeks!
Hey all of you.
A quick update for you wonderful people. Thank you all so much for what you have given so far, whether through prayers or finances, toward my next endeavor.
I leave January 3rd for Denver, and as of today I have a little less than half of what I need for the tuition for my YWAM schooling. I have no doubt that the rest is going to come in time for me to leave. God is so dang faithful beyond our comprehension and he knows our needs before we do. I’m really stoked to see how he’s going to provide this time.
Thank you for your friendship and encouragement throughout this past year. So many of you are what kept me going and let God work through you to bless me.
A quick update for you wonderful people. Thank you all so much for what you have given so far, whether through prayers or finances, toward my next endeavor.
I leave January 3rd for Denver, and as of today I have a little less than half of what I need for the tuition for my YWAM schooling. I have no doubt that the rest is going to come in time for me to leave. God is so dang faithful beyond our comprehension and he knows our needs before we do. I’m really stoked to see how he’s going to provide this time.
Thank you for your friendship and encouragement throughout this past year. So many of you are what kept me going and let God work through you to bless me.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
An unforgiveably long time between updates. :(
I am terrible at getting online these days; I think it’s because I’m not really a “blogger” or whatnot. I’ve started a handful of updates, only to run out of time to finish them. One thousand apologies.
A ridiculous amount of time has passed since my last update; the election is obviously over. Thank you so much if you were one who helped in any way, shape or form with the VoteYes on 11 campaign. So many of you spent hours volunteering tirelessly, whether through canvassing, praying, working at the office, or even dropping food by to feed us. None of it has gone by unnoticed, and I am incredibly grateful for all of you. I truly believe that the only way we will stop abortion is through actual relationships with women struggling with crisis pregnancies, not just legislation. I encourage you, if you at all have this issue on your heart, to stop by your local crisis pregnancy center and see how you can help. We cannot truly effect change on our community, state, or country, without some ACTION. While I completely agree that we do need to inform women about the dangers and atrocities of abortion, can we get past all the rhetoric and genuinely love these girls and women who don’t know what to do with their unplanned pregnancy? I’m trying to avoid being on a soapbox here; just some frustrating things I’ve encountered these past few months.
In other news,
It’s been almost three weeks without employment. I’ve wrestled so much with the idea of going and getting another job right away. To tell you the truth, I’ve had no peace about doing just that. I really hate admitting it, but for so long I’ve struggled to trust God with my finances. I say I give him all of my life, and yet there is that one small area that I always want to control. I think it’s due to our culture, and possibly that I am, in fact, a human being. :D But really, the biggest reason I thought I needed a job was so I could control my little pocketbook; it’s so easy to try to do. I look at my bank account, and see that I only have a tiny amount, and I need $6,000 for YWAM in about a month. In human terms, that’s really quite impossible. But thankfully, I serve a God who is so much bigger. Truthfully, I have no idea where the remaining funds will come from, but he is faithful and promises to meet our needs. He’s proven it time and time again to me. Proverbs 3:5 comes to mind: “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure everything out on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go. He’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume you know it all.”
This time of not having a job has been incredibly restful as well. I’m staying with my parents through the holidays before I head out, and just being out in the middle of a forest with some of my favorite people has been something I didn’t realize I needed. Good stuff. Chris is coming home from New York on Monday, and is staying through Christmas. This is the second year in a row that our whole family will be together on Christmas….I’m stoked. God is so good. Really.
Random tidbits: I finished reading The Shack yesterday. You should go pick up a copy and read it right now.
I'm really starting to hate the fact that I have to re-dye my hair every month. I'm debating letting it grow out and chopping off the false color. Any thoughts on that?
I'm really quite thrilled for change.
There’s so many little things that I regretfully admit I overlook each day that make me so happy to be alive. (I’m so sentimental these days, I know). Like the smell of autumn leaves or how the sky looks at certain times of the day. Or the laughter that seems to envelope every dinner and conversation in this house ( you should really come over for dinner sometime--it’s quite the experience). Or just going outside & taking photos. Just sitting and listening….even as I type this the sound of my mom’s piano drifts upstairs where it mingles and regretfully clashes with the sound of Sam’s metal guitar riffs one room over. I could ramble forever. There is so much to be grateful for.
If for no other reason, I hope you come away from this reminded that life is full of so much joy. Even when things are seemingly hopeless, there is still joy to be found. There is still a God who loves you.
-Bethany
A ridiculous amount of time has passed since my last update; the election is obviously over. Thank you so much if you were one who helped in any way, shape or form with the VoteYes on 11 campaign. So many of you spent hours volunteering tirelessly, whether through canvassing, praying, working at the office, or even dropping food by to feed us. None of it has gone by unnoticed, and I am incredibly grateful for all of you. I truly believe that the only way we will stop abortion is through actual relationships with women struggling with crisis pregnancies, not just legislation. I encourage you, if you at all have this issue on your heart, to stop by your local crisis pregnancy center and see how you can help. We cannot truly effect change on our community, state, or country, without some ACTION. While I completely agree that we do need to inform women about the dangers and atrocities of abortion, can we get past all the rhetoric and genuinely love these girls and women who don’t know what to do with their unplanned pregnancy? I’m trying to avoid being on a soapbox here; just some frustrating things I’ve encountered these past few months.
In other news,
It’s been almost three weeks without employment. I’ve wrestled so much with the idea of going and getting another job right away. To tell you the truth, I’ve had no peace about doing just that. I really hate admitting it, but for so long I’ve struggled to trust God with my finances. I say I give him all of my life, and yet there is that one small area that I always want to control. I think it’s due to our culture, and possibly that I am, in fact, a human being. :D But really, the biggest reason I thought I needed a job was so I could control my little pocketbook; it’s so easy to try to do. I look at my bank account, and see that I only have a tiny amount, and I need $6,000 for YWAM in about a month. In human terms, that’s really quite impossible. But thankfully, I serve a God who is so much bigger. Truthfully, I have no idea where the remaining funds will come from, but he is faithful and promises to meet our needs. He’s proven it time and time again to me. Proverbs 3:5 comes to mind: “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure everything out on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go. He’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume you know it all.”
This time of not having a job has been incredibly restful as well. I’m staying with my parents through the holidays before I head out, and just being out in the middle of a forest with some of my favorite people has been something I didn’t realize I needed. Good stuff. Chris is coming home from New York on Monday, and is staying through Christmas. This is the second year in a row that our whole family will be together on Christmas….I’m stoked. God is so good. Really.
Random tidbits: I finished reading The Shack yesterday. You should go pick up a copy and read it right now.
I'm really starting to hate the fact that I have to re-dye my hair every month. I'm debating letting it grow out and chopping off the false color. Any thoughts on that?
I'm really quite thrilled for change.
There’s so many little things that I regretfully admit I overlook each day that make me so happy to be alive. (I’m so sentimental these days, I know). Like the smell of autumn leaves or how the sky looks at certain times of the day. Or the laughter that seems to envelope every dinner and conversation in this house ( you should really come over for dinner sometime--it’s quite the experience). Or just going outside & taking photos. Just sitting and listening….even as I type this the sound of my mom’s piano drifts upstairs where it mingles and regretfully clashes with the sound of Sam’s metal guitar riffs one room over. I could ramble forever. There is so much to be grateful for.
If for no other reason, I hope you come away from this reminded that life is full of so much joy. Even when things are seemingly hopeless, there is still joy to be found. There is still a God who loves you.
-Bethany
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